Separation Anxiety

Ahhh, the first few weeks of preschool are a time filled with very big emotions, from very little people, who are still learning both how to express as well as how to control their emotions.

There are some children who come in to school, every day, with a smile on their face and never exhibit any obvious symptoms of anxiety/sadness of saying good-bye to their parent(s) in the morning. Rest assured, even these children still take frequent trips over to their family photo to “see” mom/dad… they still talk about their family at home with the teachers in the classroom… they even say words such as “I miss my mom” or “I miss my house”. As teachers, we reassure these children by identifying with their emotions. We explain we also miss our loved one at home… yet we are also so happy and excited to be with your child at school and have fun together and learn new things while we are here.

There are other children who come in to school possibly crying, yelling, or even trying to run after their parent(s) when it is time to say good-bye in the morning. This is also normal. These expressions of feelings can continue either every day, or even only once every couple of days, for any length of time.

In my 15 years of teaching preschool, I have NEVER had a child who continues to cry every single day throughout the entire school year. It simply takes time to build relationships… for your children to trust us to keep them safe and be a place of learning and fun; as well as for them to build trust with you to know you are going to come back when you say you will.

Here are some tips to help make transitioning to preschool easier day by day:

#1 BE CONSISTENT: Bring your child to school at the same time, every single day. Also, remember to be consistent at the end of the day and pick your child up from school on time. (3:30 PM is the latest time for dismissal.)

#2 PREPARE A COMFORT OBJECT: Every child has a family picture in the classroom to help them feel better. Sometimes, a child has a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. It is ok to bring ONE soft stuffed animal or blanket from home if having this item is something you feel will help your child feel more secure.

#3 DON’T SNEAK AWAY: Be honest with your child. They know when you are not being honest and if they can’t trust you, they will think you are not coming back for them. Let your child know you are leaving, what you will be doing while they are at school. When you come back, remind your child daily that you returned when school was over just like you promised you would.

#4 BE IN CHARGE: It is important for children to know there are some things that are choices, and other things that are not choices. Children understand the concept of routines and they know when an adult will follow through on what they say and when they won’t. For children who are saying they don’t want to come to school, it’s ok to remind them they have to come to school. That part is not a choice. The part that is a choice, is what comfort item they want to bring (“Would you like to bring a blanket? Or a stuffed animal?”) Or, they can also choose how they are going to say good-bye (“Would you like a hug when I leave? Or a kiss? Or both?”) Setting clear limits and expectations for children when they are young will help them be successful in school throughout their academic years.