You Matter

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From the desk of Ms. Rumler, Social Worker:

The Anti–Bullying Club and Active Minds have paired together for a joint project aimed at building community where all are seen, heard and loved.  Our aim is to share visually what individuals feel makes them matter.

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When I was approached and asked to help my students participate in this endeavor, I had to pause.  On the one hand, it should be obvious that everyone matters – because, well, everyone matters. On the other hand, was I able to articulate why I matter?  And if I couldn’t put it into words, then how could I expect my students to?

To help us out, I enlisted Angela Maiers, an education and technology consultant, by sharing her TED Talk “You Matter‘ with my students.

Maiers said something that really resonated with me.  She shared, “People do not walk around with a sign that says, ‘Do I matter to you?’ They do not have a tattoo that says, ‘Let me know you see me. Let me know you value my presence. Let me know how I can help you because I want to. I want to give you what I have. I am just dying for you to ask me.’

Here’s the thing – human beings are pretty basic people.  For all the thingsmakes us “complicated” we have needs, and aside from having BASIC needs met, we have emotional and psychological needs which need to be met as well.

And when they are not, that’s when the breakdown occurs.

Students spend a lot of time in school.  Students spend a lot of time surrounded by people who have a significant impact on their lives – whether it be their classmates, their friends, their teachers, etc.

Everyone NEEDS to feel like they matter – or else what would be the point? (I can only hope that I am successful in making my students feel like THEY matter.)

Their thoughts, their hopes, their dreams, their fears…. it all matters.

When trying to help my students and myself come up with our “I matter because…” statment, I asked them a simple question.  I asked them – what is it that you offer the world, that no one else does?  Why does it matter that YOU are here?

Of course, with any thought-provoking question, the responses ran the gamut.

Most students were able to share that they matter because:

• they make their family happy
• they make their friends laugh
• they are helpful to those in need

I was in a colleague’s classroom the other day, and her students had completed this exercise also.  The response which stood out to me the most was this one, “I matter because even though I struggle, I help people to see there is hope that tomorrow will be better.”

Even after a day of completing this exercise, I still struggle with putting into words why I matter.

Of course, my students were quick to exclaim ‘Wallah, I hope you know you matter to us Ms. Sabbagh.’

But why?

And I think that was Maier’s point.  It’s not enough to say YOU MATTER (even though those two words in and of themselves are extremely powerful), it’s the WHY. Why do you matter?

And I think that I could tell you why you matter – but until it comes from you – until YOU know that you matter, you won’t believe it.

So, here it goes: my best I matter because… statement:

I matter because despite the fact that life is hard, I believe we are here for a reason – and I can only hope *fingers crossed* that who I am, as I am, makes a difference (in a positive way) in the lives of those around me.

So, thatś my why.  Whatś yours?

Thanks for reading. ~ Ms. Sabbagh