By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Ladonna was stuck. She was glued to her present situation and not able to see or move beyond it yet. By firmly focusing on the what is of her life, she had anchored that reality in place. It took her middle-school counselor, Mr. Ordonez, and his effective verbal skills to help Ladonna free herself and move to higher ground. Mr. Ordonez knew that if she continued to stay focused on what is, it would be difficult for her to change what is into something new.
“I have two detentions,” Ladonna told her middle-school counselor. “One more and I’m in ISS [In School Suspension].”
“What’s your goal for today?” Mr. Ordonez asked, attempting to move her from what is to what could be.
“She’ll give me another one if I even turn around.”
“What’s your goal for today?”
“She doesn’t like me. I can feel it.”
“How would you like this day to end?”
“I don’t know.”
“Ladonna, would you like a suggestion?”
“I guess.”
“Move your focus away from what you think is to how you want it to be. Concentrate on that for a while.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re so focused on what you think is happening, you’re neglecting to think about what you want to have happen.”
“But she is picking on me. Everyone else thinks so, too.”
“And how is concentrating on that, thinking about it, and talking about it with your friends working for you?”
“Not too good, I guess.”
“Then you might want to think about something else. I suggest you concentrate on how you want it to be.”
“I’m not sure that will work.”
“Well, you are sure how the other strategy is working, right?”
“Right.”
“Well, think about it and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
The effort by Ladonna’s counselor in this instance is to encourage her to move away from focusing on what is. His goal is to move her to a place where she sees and concentrates on what could be.
What Ladonna doesn’t know is that what Mr. Ordonez is doing is exactly the same thing he is asking her to do. He is focusing on what Ladonna could be, not on the way she is currently seen by some of her teachers.
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the coauthors ofThe Teacher Talk Advantage: Five Voices of Effective Teaching. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for educators and another for parents. To sign up for their newsletters or learn more about the seminars they offer teachers and parents, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com andwww.thomashaller.com.