It seems that a number of students are fascinated by fighting. Fighting is against school rules. It can endanger your self or others and it is against the law. We teach students to handle themselves by ‘talking it out’ or using other strategies to handle annoying or upsetting situations. Where can students fight freely? Students can sign up for a marshal arts class, or go out for the wrestling team in middle school or high school. At home, students can arm wrestle with each other (relatively safe, if following rules). Soccer, swimming, basketball, tennis and bike riding (sports) will work tension out of the body so that there isn’t a pent up need to ‘fight’.
Rule #1: STAY CALM: Use deep breathing; take a walk; get a drink of water; talk it out.
Rule #2: Ask the person to STOP. Use a friendly or firm voice; use an I statement.. . . I feel _______ when you _____.
Rule 3#: Ignore: Don’t look at the person; turn and give them your shoulder; don’t talk back (it will turn into an argument).
Rule#4: MOVE AWAY. Run away and stand next to an adult; change your seat; move to another place in line.
Rule#5: Tell and Adult. Once you have tried all the strategies and you are still annoyed.
**ANGER RULES
- It’s ok to feel Angry BUT
- *Don’t hurt others
- *Don’t hurt yourself
- *Don’t hurt property
- -DO talk about it.
- Anger is a feeling and feelings just are.
- Anger is Ok.
- Abuse and Violence are not OK.
- Taken from the book: A Volcano in My Tummy. Helping Children to Handle Anger.
- by: Eliane Whitehouse and Warwick Pudney, 1996.
Ways of Staying Calm and working through Angry Feelings:
Get enough sleep 8-10 hours; Eat Healthy Foods; Sports; Play outside 1+ hours a day; deep breathing; mediation; praying; Art: coloring, drawing, painting, making stuff; Music: play or listen, sing; dancing; movement; Talking with a trusted friend or adult; writing in a journal; hugs from the family.
All of these things allow us to express and move feelings through our body to process what has happened, so the feelings don’t get stuck in the body and cause headaches or stomachaches or other physical ailments. Teaching children coping skills is essential to a healthy lifestyle and may prevent future drug, alcohol or other harmful habits that cause damage to bodies and relationships.