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By Amanda Morin

At a Glance

• Navigating a conversation can be difficult for kids with social skills issues.
• Different skills are required for various parts of a conversation.
• You can help your child get better at joining, starting, maintaining and ending conversations.

For most people, having a conversation is easy. We don’t think about having to make appropriate comments or how to join in when other people are talking. But for kids with social skills issues, the normal flow of conversation can be hard.

Important skills, like reading body language and knowing what to say (and when to say it), don’t come easily to them. Here’s a look at the four parts of a conversation, the skills involved, and how to help your child navigate each one.

1. Joining a Conversation

Group conversations are tricky because there’s more than one person to connect with. Each person has a unique personality and communication style. The group itself has a unique way of functioning, based on who’s in it and what’s being discussed.

Skills involved:

• Reading the body language of the group to know if it’s appropriate to join in.
• Using the right phrases to ask to be included.
• Understanding the tone of voice people use when they aren’t OK with you joining.
• Knowing what’s being discussed, and staying on topic.

Why it might be hard: Trouble reading body language can keep kids from knowing if a conversation is private or open. They may also misunderstand the rhythm of the conversation. Is the pause in talking a natural lull? Or is someone just taking time to breathe? And some kids don’t get that they need to talk about the topic at hand to join a conversation.

How to help:

• Use videos, TV shows or real-life events to point out situations where a group is turned away or talking privately. Also, point out when people in a conversation are looking around and seem open to others joining.
• Model for your child how to wait for a break in the flow of conversation and then ask a question, like “Is it OK if I join you?”
• Remind your child to listen and say something related to what others are saying. Your child can use “wh” questions (who, what, when, where and why) to get up to speed.

2. Starting a Conversation

Launching a conversation involves a number of steps. To be successful at it, you have to do them all correctly. The first step is often the hardest: figuring out if this is the right time to have a conversation.

Skills involved:

• Knowing to start with a greeting, and having the language to do that.
• Recognizing if it’s an appropriate time to have a conversation.
• Choosing an appropriate topic and having phrases to open the dialogue.
• Recognizing nonverbal cues that show if the other person is interested and wants to talk.

Why it might be hard: Kids who are impulsive may burst into a conversation without any greeting. They may act like the other person already knows what they’re thinking. Some kids may not be able to read the “feel” of a room to know if it’s a good time to start a conversation. And once they start, they may not pick up on signs that the person isn’t interested in talking.

How to help:

• Teach basic greeting phrases to use with familiar people (“Hi, how are you?”) and with unfamiliar people (“Hi, I’m Joe—I’m Miranda’s neighbor”).
• Show your child what someone’s body language looks like when the person does and doesn’t want to talk. Also show examples of a neutral or uncomfortable face that might mean a lack of interest.

3. Maintaining a Conversation

The work doesn’t stop once kids with social skills challenges enter a conversation. Continuing the conversation can be difficult, too. It requires following a number of social rules—and not just for a minute or two.

Skills involved:

• Knowing how to take turns in a conversation.
• Listening to what the other person says and responding appropriately.
• Being able to stay on topic.
• Reading body language, facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.

Why it can be hard: Impulsivity may cause kids to blurt something out or interrupt when they’re excited about a topic. Trouble with nonverbal cues may keep them from realizing that the other person is trying to speak or is losing interest. Kids also might be so stuck on one thought that they can’t let go of it.

How to help:

• Teach your child how to ask follow-up questions to show he’s heard and is interested in what the other person is saying. Give him scripted examples to practice and use.
• Help your child practice keeping a thought in mind instead of blurting it out. Let him know it’s OK to say, “Remind me that I wanted to say something about that once you’re done,” if he’s worried he’ll forget his point.
• Brainstorm words or phrases he can use to show he’s paying attention during conversation, like “right” or “that’s cool.” Make sure he knows he needs to mix them up a little because saying the same thing over and over can sound like he’s not paying attention.
• Role-play and demonstrate how saying something off-topic or at the wrong time can sound like he’s not interested in what someone else is talking about.

4. Ending a Conversation

Ending a conversation can be as challenging as starting one. You have to read the situation correctly to know if it’s the right time to wrap it up. And then, you have to have the words to end it appropriately.

Skills involved:

• Reading body language, facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.
• Making sense of tone of voice and other verbal cues.
• Being aware of how your own verbal and nonverbal cues may look to others (perspective-taking).
• Conveying intent through language. (For example, “Well, I have to go now.”)

Why it can be challenging: Since many kids with social skills issues have trouble reading body language, they may not recognize that a person is no longer interested or needs to end a conversation. Kids who are impulsive or who struggle with communication skills may also end a conversation abruptly without saying “goodbye,” just walking away or hanging up the phone.

How to help:

• Demonstrate some of the nonverbal cues your child may see when someone is trying to end a conversation, like checking the time, turning away or yawning.
• Teach your child some of the verbal cues that show someone is trying to end a conversation, such as not answering questions, saying they should go or saying things like “So…” or “Well….”
• Explain that your child can use these cues to end a conversation, too.
• Teach phrases your child can use to know if the conversation is over. One example is: “Are you OK to keep talking, or do you need to leave?”
• Help your child learn and practice how to close with a sentence like “It was good talking to you,” or “Well, I have to get going now,” before walking away.

For kids with social skills issues, learning the art of conversation takes lots of direct instruction and practice. So it’s important to be patient, and know that you may have to reinforce these skills over and over.

Helping Your Child With Spelling

Children who fall behind classmates in spelling, who forget words easily, or
who mix up letters when writing, are children who need special, loving,
considerate attention regularly at home to help them overcome their unique learning problems. Forcing an activity on them or making it over-demanding only serves to intensify the child’s negative feelings about it. Here are some suggestions other parents have successfully used to help their children in these areas.

Develop auditory and vocal skills. Good spellers are usually good readers
and good speakers and vice versa. Using the school or local library helps your child develop some of these skills. Restrict the amount of TV he watches. Your child cannot talk back to a television set. Children need to use the language they will be writing. Give your child the opportunity to talk with you.

Experience stories. Let your child write about the things he likes. He can
illustrate the stones himself or cut pictures from magazines to illustrate
them. Let him write the words without assistance unless he asks for help.
Misspelled words can then be used in little games you play with your child. A one-line “story” may be all that he can handle. If so, fine.

Write letters. Corresponding with a friend or relative-or a simple statement
at the bottom of a letter you write to someone your child knows-offers him
opportunities to spell.

Trace words. This activity helps many children. Have your child sit next to
you (or, if young, sit on your lap). Sit so that you can guide his writing
hand. Make sure that only his index and middle fingers are extended, and that his eyes are closed. If your child is using manuscript, use that form. Take his hand and print (or write) the word that is confusing to him.

Finger paints are messy, but ever so helpful. Use oilcloth and a large
table. Have your child roll up his sleeves and wear an old apron. Let him use both hands to write letters and words, It is a marvelous activity. Just gating the feel of large movements may be sufficient without introducing formal spelling to the activity.

All kids love codes, so why not encourage your child to decode messages diet you leave for him? Let him make up his own codes for you. You make up one but make sure he has a way to decode it.

If your child is working on a class spelling list and can only remember half
of the words, speak to his teacher. Teachers are more than delighted to hear
how their students respond to homework. Perhaps the list can be reduced so that your child has fewer words and can learn these more efficiently and
comfortably.

Don’t tackle an entire spelling bar in one sitting. Take one-third for
example, each evening, to work on with your child. Break the practice into
small units. Try fifteen minutes of review when he gets home; fifteen minutes before supper; fifteen minutes after supper. Shorter periods given frequently are more effective than one massive review-which is also exhausting and frustrating.

Sometimes words on a spelling list can be “clustered” into similarities. For
example, you might try attempting all of the five-letter words one day, all the words beginning with consonants the next day, all the words beginning with blends the next day. This kind of grouping will help your child to perceive similarities and differences in the words, and, hence, develop his recall.

An old trick that really works is to have your child practice. Write each of
his words, and then draw with a black crayon around each word. Then he can lightly color the shape of the word. This is known as “studying the shape” (or configuration). Just make sure your child uses straight, not curved, lines when he outlines the word.

Before your child starts to silently study his list for that day, let him
pronounce each word. Children must know how to properly pronounce a word before they attempt to spell it, If their pronunciation is not correct, they will indeed spell it as they would pronounce it in their own way. (Also make sure they know what the word means and can use it or understand it when they hear it.)

To start studying, a child should look at the word, pronounce it, spell it
orally as he looks at it, cover it with his hand, and then attempt to spell it
or, as he traces it on your kitchen table, letter by letter.

After your child has studied, let’s say five words, in the manner described,
spell the words to him, in random order, and have him name the word you
spelled.

Invest in a set of plastic magnetic letters that are available at many
discount, toy, and variety stores. Let your child spell the word by
successively placing the magnetic letters on the magnetic board. You can show him the word, then remove it Have him name each letter as he locates it and places it on the board. This is good for developing the correct order for letters within the words.

Word lists. These can be made using paper available in the house. Print or
write the words being studied. Post one copy of the list on die refrigerator,
another on the door to your child’s room, and another in the bathroom. Maybe another can go over the TV set. Use a different color crayon for each word-or use a different color for parts of each word regularly confusing your child. For example, if he continues to write “come” as “cum,” use black for the “c” and I’m” but red for the “o” and “e”.

Put movement into learning words. Have your child clap for each letter or
take a step for each letter as he spells the word orally. This will help ” lock
in” the correct sequence of letters, as well as develop full recall for the
word.

Let your child play teacher. Let him teach you the words he is learning to
spell. Spell them orally to him. Let him correct you. Then have him dictate to you and you write them. Have him score your paper. Make a game of it. He’ll know you really know how to spell them, so veil him it’s a game.

Commercial dice with letters rather than numbers. Take turns with your child in tossing them and building words. List the words as they are made. The list can be saved and added to each time you play. That way be can develop a “reference fist” to use over and over spin to reinforce his recall. Listening skills do help spelling. “What letter does ‘chart, end with?” What letter does ‘piano’ begin with?” Play these games just for a few moments before supper, or after breakfast to develop your child’s ability to hear sounds in words.

Rhyming words is another game that can build spelling skills. “Can you think of a word that rhymes with fill?” As your child says hill, Bill, till, and so on, write them down. He’ll soon notice, himself, that they have identical
endings.

Remembering. This is a game to develop visual memory. Write one word on a piece of paper. Leave space underneath it. Tell your child to look at it as
long as he wants, that is, until he can remember the letters, then have him
fold the paper so that he cannot see the word. He is then to try to write the
word from memory. Let him check it himself, and if he has misspelled, try
again.

Practice in spelling can come in a variety of ways. For example, you might
ask him to help you make a grocery list by looking at the advertisement for a local supermarket You could check the items you want to purchase, and you could ask him to make a list to help you out.

Find the wrong word. Write a short sentence for your child. Tell him that
there is one word spelled incorrectly. Ask him to see if he can find it. To
begin, make it a rather obviously misspelled word. Leave a letter out, or add
an extra letter to a word. Ask him to first read the sentence, then to circle
the misspelled word. Then make sure you erase it and write it correctly.

Helping your child at home with spelling requires patience and a
non-school-like setting. Don’t try to be a teacher. Be a parent who teaches.
Your child wants to please you-he wants your honest, sincere praise. Keep the activities short-and fun, and do them regularly, with variety.

 

By Robert Myers, PhD

There are many benefits to having children help around the home. Giving children chores can make them feel wanted, teach important life skills, and help ease the workload for parents. Recent studies have found that giving children chores from an early age will help teach them work ethic, responsibility, self-reliance, and other vital life skills. Children are capable of handling much more than some people think. Even toddlers can help with the smallest, simplest of chores, and by the time children are teenagers, they are capable of handling most of what their parents can. The key is to start children off with small household tasks at a young age, and slowly teach them more complicated chores as they get older.

The following is an ultimate listing of chores for children from ages two to eighteen. Click to Download Our Ultimate Chore List

Toddlers (Ages 2-3) Even toddlers can complete simple tasks around the home. Starting children early can help ease any arguing about doing the chores as they become older and begin to test boundaries. Toddlers are also at an age where they find the idea of helping their parents, caretakers, or older siblings one of the most exciting things they could do. This is thanks to toddlers being “copy-cats.” The primary way they learn about their world is through watching others do something and then copying their actions. It is important to note that toddlers will need supervision and guidance with their chores but can usually complete some tasks unsupervised by their preschool years. A few examples of chores that toddlers can do are: Put their toys away Fill up a cat or dog’s food bowl Place clothes in the hamper Dust or wipe baseboards with socks on their hands Pile up books and magazines on shelves or tables Help make the beds Mop small areas with a dry mop

Preschoolers (Ages 4-5) Preschoolers still feel the same desire to help their parents, because they are still learning through copying their elders. At this age, there are even some chores children can do without supervision. Typically, these will be the ones they began doing when toddlers, although there might be one or two new tasks, they are naturally talented at. The reason for this increasing inability is that preschoolers have started to master the skills necessary to complete tasks unsupervised. Their hand-eye coordination will have increased, as will have their ability to follow more complex instructions. Whereas toddlers need to be told each individual step associated with a task, preschoolers may be able to remember and follow instructions up to two or three steps at a time. In addition to the chores listed above, preschoolers can typically help with the following chores: Make their bed without supervision Clear the table Pull weeds Use a hand-held vacuum for crumbs or room edges Water flowers Put away clean utensils Wash plastic dishes with supervision Assist an older sibling with setting the table Help bring in light groceries Sort laundry into whites and colors before wash Match socks together Dust with a cloth Care for an animal’s food and water dishes

Primary Schoolers (Ages 6-9) Once a child reaches primary school age, they can take on a lot more responsibility without supervision. They can start learning more physically difficult or complex tasks, as they are continuing to learn the necessary skills to do so. Parents should understand that this age group will sometimes start “rebelling” against the idea of chores, as they learn more independence. With patience, however, they will understand they are still expected to help around the home. Some children may never rebel against their chores. Whether they do or not will largely depend on their own unique personalities. In addition to the chores listed for both toddlers and preschoolers above, primary schoolers between the ages of 6 and 9 can usually do the following chores: Sweep the floors Help make bagged or boxed lunches Rake the yard Clean their own bedrooms, with minimal supervision Put away the groceries Load the dishwasher Empty the dishwasher or drain Vacuum Help a parent prepare dinner   Make their own snacks/breakfast Scrub the table after meals Put away their own laundry Take the family dog for a walk (in the yard or with supervision) Wet mop Empty indoor trash bins into the kitchen trash

Middle Schoolers (Ages 10-13) Preteens or middle schoolers can do many tasks on their own and can be held responsible for them without constant reminders. At this age, many families decide to create a chore chart or task list for their children. Then, parents can hold the child responsible and check just once a day to see that things were checked off the list or chart. This helps children learn not only self-reliance but how to be responsible for themselves when nobody is looking. In addition to all the tasks listed in the sections above for younger ages, children between the ages of 10 and 13 should be able to do the following chores: Wash the dishes or load the dishwasher without assistance Wash the family car Prepare easy meals without assistance Use the clothes washer and dryer Take the trash to the bins Take the trash bins to the curb Babysit younger siblings with parents at home

High Schoolers (Ages 14+) By the time your child reaches high school, they can do nearly any household task you can. This is the perfect age to start making sure your child is fully prepared for the eventuality of living on their own since those years are coming up soon. This is not to say all children fly the nest upon reaching eighteen. In fact, more children are deciding to live at home while attending college or saving for a house of their own than in recent years, thanks to rising costs of living and excessive student loan debts. If staying at home longer, however, children can continue helping around the house past the age of eighteen. In addition to the tasks listed in previous sections, children over the age of fourteen can do the following chores: Clean out fridge Help deep clean kitchen (appliances and cabinets) Clean the toilet, sink, and shower in the bathroom Babysit younger siblings independently (for short periods) Mow the lawn Care for pets independently (including walks) Make more complex meals Accomplish small shopping trips alone (after receiving their license) Iron clothes Resew buttons on clothing Help parents with simple home or auto repairs Conclusion Children are capable of doing much more than parents might think. Even the youngest family members can help with household tasks as early as two, and by the time your child reaches their teenage years, they can do nearly any chore you can. There are many benefits to giving children chores, and it also makes life easier for parents.

By Billy Steele

In an age when we all have a tiny computer in our pockets, it’s important that we learn to limit screen time in favor of actual human interaction and productivity. It’s even more essential that we limit media consumption for children, especially since they’re being exposed to things like phones and tablets at an increasingly younger age. Those devices are part of kids’ lives earlier than ever, so it’s important to keep tabs on how often they use them or watch TV. There are a number of reasons why you should do this as a parent, and, ironically, there’s also a range of tech available to help with the task.

The case for limiting screen time

While it may seem like common sense, there’s a lot of research that demonstrates why limiting screen time for children is a great idea. Yes, there are age-appropriate apps, games, movies, TV shows and more, and they’re all rated so you know what’s appropriate for a 12-year-old or for a preschooler. But even with ratings and appropriate content, you still need to actively manage screen time to ensure proper growth and development.

Studies show that too much screen time can have a lot of negative effects on your child. Those issues range from the mental (problems with school and paying attention) to the physical (trouble sleeping, eating disorders and obesity). There can also be developmental effects for children who spend too much time with electronic devices at a young age. A study from the Cleveland Clinic found that excessive screen time for a two-year-old led to lower developmental outcomes by three years old, and the same for a four-year-old by the time they turned five. Researchers found that things like developing necessary motor skills, a phase that’s completed through physical activity, can’t take place if a child is occupied (and stationary) by a screen.

Too much screen time at a young age can also hinder eye development. If a child spends too much time inside, it can lead to nearsightedness. “Exposure to natural daylight is critical to developing eyes,” Ayesha Malik, a pediatric optometrist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, explains. “Kids need time playing outside for their health, but also for their eyes.” Malik also notes that staring at a screen too much can lead to eye fatigue, dry/irritated eyes and trouble transitioning focus distances.

What are good limits?

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends no media use for kids under 18 months. From 18 to 24 months, only “high quality programming” should be the norm, and you should plan to watch it with your child. For two-to-five-year-olds (preschoolers), the AAP says you should limit screen time to an hour per day. The organization actually lowered this number in 2016, cutting the daily limit in half (from two hours to one). And again, the AAP recommends co-viewing.

Beyond five years, the AAP says the most important thing is to be consistent about limits. There’s no set recommendation other than to be sure time spent on a phone or tablet, or watching TV, doesn’t replace physical activity, sleep or “other behaviors essential to health.”

There have been studies that suggest this one-hour figure is too restrictive. In 2017, researchers from the Oxford Internet Institute and Cardiff University measured the impact of screen time on caregiver attachment, emotional resilience, curiosity and overall positive emotion/response. They found that keeping screen time limited to one to two hours per day for two-to-five-year-olds “showed slightly higher levels of resilience, this was balanced by lower levels of positive affect.” In other words, the team found that there was no direct link to a child’s well-being for a strict one-to two-hour limit on daily screen time. In adolescents, researchers discovered “moderate screen-use above the recommended limits might actually be linked to slightly higher levels of children’s wellbeing.”

The key word there is “moderate.” Even though the study finds that the AAP’s limits could be a little too confining, the authors still point out moderation is key. They also explain that the so-called co-viewing that the AAP recommends is important for increased screen time to have a positive effect.

“If anything, our findings suggest the broader family context, how parents set rules about digital screen time, and if they’re actively engaged in exploring the digital world together, are more important than the raw screen time,” Andrew Przyzbylski, the study’s lead author and an associate professor and director of research at the Oxford Internet Institute, explains.

Make a plan

The AAP has a set of guidelines for creating a media plan for your family. There are 13, so I won’t go into detail here, but they include things like co-viewing, creating tech-free zones, encouraging face-to-face communication, avoiding technology as a pacifier, doing your homework and the discussing dangers for teens. The organization also has online tools for both creating a plan and calculating your child’s screen time based on other daily activities. Of course, there’s a difference between making a plan and sticking to it. But you can’t stick to one if you don’t make it in the first place. Remember to be open to making changes as the demands of life and other responsibilities vary from month to month. What works during the school year may not be effective during summer vacation, for example.

Once you have a plan in place, there are a number of apps and other tech that can help you stick to your goals. And the good news is, you probably already have some of them.

By Amanda Morin

At a Glance

• When kids don’t follow directions, it can feel like they just don’t listen.
• Some kids have a real difficulty doing what they’re asked to do.
• There are ways to help your child get better at following directions.

When you ask your child to take out the garbage, what happens? Does it go out? Does it make it to the door but get abandoned there? Or does nothing happen at all?

If your child doesn’t follow directions once in a while, you might not think much of it. Kids don’t always do what they’re told to do. But if it happens a lot, you may wonder why your child doesn’t listen to you.

Some people might see this behavior and assume it’s due to laziness or disrespect. But you know your child. If you think something else may be going on, learn why some kids have trouble following directions.

What Trouble Following Directions Can Look Like

When kids have trouble following directions, the end result is clear—things don’t get done. But it’s not always clear that kids are struggling to begin with. And in some cases, their struggles may not seem related to following directions. Here are some things you might see kids do:

• Get easily frustrated or cry when trying to do something
• Refuse to do things that seem simple
• Agree to do something and then not do it
• Walk away from doing homework or a chore
• Look away or zone out when you’re giving directions
• Get halfway through a task and then stop
• Say they did something when they didn’t

Behaviors like these can be about more than kids just “not listening” or refusing to follow directions. Keep an eye on what you’re seeing. For instance, if you notice your child gets frustrated a lot, track what you see and when in a frustration log.

You can also get some insight from your child’s teacher. The teacher can tell you if the same type of behavior is happening at school.

What Causes Kids to Not Follow Directions

Not following directions doesn’t necessarily mean kids struggle with it. Sometimes they just don’t feel like doing something and choose not to listen.

But for some kids, it’s not a choice. They have difficulty doing what they’re asked to do. There are a few reasons kids struggle with following directions.

Sometimes it’s a matter of memory or planning out tasks. Kids who struggle with these skills (they’re called executive functions) have trouble remembering what you just said or keeping track of the steps involved in big or small tasks.

Take this everyday direction: “Go get ready for bed.” It’s a pretty simple task for many kids, but not all. Some kids might get through two steps in the task—brushing their teeth and washing their face—but then forget the rest of the routine.

Others don’t even get that far. They might go to brush their teeth and then not remember the steps involved for that task alone. And that’s the end of their getting ready for bed. They go back to playing because they don’t know what else to do. Or they might just go to bed without doing anything to get ready.

Another reason kids may struggle to follow directions is that they’re not focused on them. They may get distracted by the smell of dinner cooking or the TV in the background or even by their own thoughts. These things can make it hard for them to “hear” your directions at all.

For some kids, trouble following directions is really trouble following directions quickly. They take longer than other kids to process information and need more time getting the job done. For others, the challenge is with reading written directions or with processing spoken ones.

How to Help Your Child Get Better at Following Directions

Trouble following directions can happen for lots of reason, and it can look different in different kids. But no matter why it’s happening, there are ways you can help your child improve. One helpful way to get kids’ attention is to ask them to look at you before you give a direction. It also helps to give short and simple instructions. Get more tips for helping your child follow directions. And find out how one mom got her child to listen (without yelling).

To find out what might be behind your child’s trouble with following directions, you can ask the school for a free evaluation. Knowing the reasons lets you help your child improve. You can also:

• Download picture schedules for daily routines.
• Discover tips for building working memory.
• Check out tips for helping your child get organized.

When a child often doesn’t follow directions, it can be frustrating for everyone. Parents and caregivers can lose their patience or get angry. Kids can feel like they’re “bad” and always getting into trouble. They might also feel like there’s something wrong with them if they can’t get even simple things done.

You can help there, too. Tell your child you can see that following directions is difficult—and that’s OK. Together, you’ll find ways to make it easier.

It’s also important to build your child up. Kids who have trouble following directions often get a lot of criticism and need to feel better about themselves so they will keep working hard. Find ways to help your child develop self-esteem. And learn how to recognize your child’s strengths.

By Monica Foley, M.Ed.

Teens in the United States are spending nearly nine hours a day using a digital device, according to a study conducted by Common Sense Media. For children between the ages of 8 and 12, the average screen time use is nearly six hours per day. As a parent, you want your kids to have access to the technology they need to succeed in school and prepare for successful careers. However, you also want them to lead balanced lives and appreciate the value of healthy and enriching offline activities. Encouraging the moderate use of media gives your children more opportunities for interactions and experiences that are essential for healthy development. Take a look at the benefits of disconnecting from digital devices and ideas for what to do when you’re offline.

Benefits of Screen-Free Activities:

1. Shape up. Too much time sitting in front of screens increases the risk of obesity. Give your children a head start on making exercise a regular part of their routine.

2. Sleep well. Bright screens and mental stimulation interfere with quality rest and sleep. Set a curfew that electronic devices are turned off at least 2 hours before bedtime.

3. Promote learning. Digital devices can deliver excellent educational content, but a steady diet of empty entertainment or texting can distract from studying. Help your child keep their mind on their schoolwork.

4. Manage behavior issues. Using media wisely helps prevent aggression, substance abuse, and other risky activities. It also promotes the development of essential social and communication skills.

5. Save money. Maybe you have trouble affording the latest devices. Countless inexpensive activities teach kids how to value relationships and creativity rather than material possessions.

Ideas for Screen-Free Indoor Activities:

1. Make music. Your kids probably know how to stream music, but can they play an instrument or sing? Introduce them to the joys of expressing themselves through music.

2. Do crafts. Collect household items or visit an art supply store, so you have supplies on hand to do arts and crafts anytime. Practice making origami animals or holiday ornaments.

3. Play board games. Pull out your old favorites or shop for new versions. Spend an evening with Monopoly as a family instead of watching a movie.

4. Put on a play. Create your own productions. Turn a large cardboard box into a puppet theater. Read a play out loud with each family member taking a different role.

5. Cook dinner. Prepare meals together. Even small children can rinse fruit or tear up salad greens.

Ideas for Screen-Free Outdoor Activities:

1. Go for a walk. Make it a habit to take a walk around the neighborhood after dinner. Walking is a gentle form of exercise your children will be able to do anywhere with no special equipment needed.

2. Toss a Frisbee. A Frisbee makes it fun to move around—even your dog can master the rules. For more variety, stock up on other simple toys such as hula hoops and jump ropes.

3. Plant a garden. Grow your own vegetables and flowers. Gardening teaches your kids where food comes from and how to work with others.

4. Take a dip. Having an in-ground pool isn’t the only way to enjoy the water. Let your kids run or ride their bikes while you spray a hose around them.

5. Visit the library. Libraries are a community gathering place. In addition to bringing home books, check out the calendar for special events.

6. Camp out. Pick a campground that suits your idea of roughing it or sleep in your backyard. Toast marshmallows and tell ghost stories. In this digital age, your kids are bound to be surrounded by computers, smartphones, and televisions. Show them that it’s possible to have fun without any screens involved, and carve out boundaries to keep the overuse of technology from interfering with healthy development.

EDUCATION By Joanne Foster, EdD

SYNOPSIS

As the new school year unfolds, the time is ripe to consider some important tips about creativity, productivity, and well-being so as to inspire parents and kids.

Over the years, I’ve shared hundreds of strategies for strengthening children’s intelligence, productivity, well-being, creativity, self-confidence, resilience, emotional health, and more… Here are fresh adaptations of 14 of my favorite tips for fortifying kids’ capacities now, and throughout the school year.

CREATIVITY

“The only way to stay creative is to keep looking for challenges and devising innovative ways to meet them.”   

(“Beyond Intelligence” – p. 41)

Tip 1.) Creativity develops over time, with the right kinds of learning opportunities, challenges, and supports. 

People are at their most creative when they’re doing what they love to do. Help children harness that enjoyment by finding their own niches and experiential pleasures, and support them in following their interests as they change over time.

Tip 2.)  Resourcefulness furthers intellectual growth, and can spark inquisitiveness, reflection, and aspirations.

Even a little resourcefulness can be the difference between complacency and ingenuity. Resources abound in different contexts, and through various kinds of experiences at school, home, in the community, online, and elsewhere. When kids are resourceful, what starts out as curiosity often evolves into strengths or qualities that they can develop, feel happy about, and share with others. 

Tip 3.)  Co-create a comfort zone.

Seek a time and place where others are available to offer reinforcement and encouragement, where momentum can build, and where moving forward is a positive occurrence. This positivity could arise from maximizing effort, setting and attaining reasonable goals, being spontaneous (or, conversely taking time), making mistakes but learning from them, and stretching boundaries.

Tip 4.)  Help kids understand that creativity requires time and commitment, but it’s worth it. 

Creativity derives from what is original, meaningful, and effortful. Creative expression is something people choose to nurture—it’s an active decision—and this sometimes requires courage, determination, and conviction. Encourage kids to ask questions, get answers, think things through, be inventive, stay open-minded, and exercise patience. Parents can also talk about how their own accomplishments come about from investing creative energy.

PRODUCTIVITY

“Sometimes, we need others to reassure us that we’re capable, and that what we do is worth doing.”  

 (“Bust Your BUTS” – p. 112)

Tip 5.)  Figure out what’s motivating. 

Maybe it’s challenge. Flexibility. Reassurance. Creative expression. Choice. Fun. Familiar routines. Incentives. Feelings of pride about personal progress. Or finding enjoyment in learning and achieving. The possibilities are endless, and they’ll differ from one person to the next. If something is personally relevant (that is, it connects meaningfully with the child’s life, interests, or vision for the future), that relevance can be very motivating. 

Tip 6.)  Consistency and routines matter. 

Children function best when there’s stability and guidance, and this is especially the case during challenge or times of transition. Sometimes behaviors or circumstances change or get “rocked,” and this can be hard for kids to manage. Help them get back into a pattern or routine so they feel at ease, and less pressured. They’ll be more inclined to move forward, and to use their productive energy.

Tip 7.)  Listen to other people, observe, and consider how they tackle challenges and surmount obstacles. 

This is a good way to acquire information and knowledge, and it provides a base from which to build new understandings. When children interact, communicate, inquire, stretch their intellects, and share ideas, it comes together and serves to contribute to their learning and personal growth. 

Tip 8.)  Pay attention to skill sets. 

Some children and teens need new or better strategies for pacing, organization, time management, or self-regulation. Help them find solutions to the problems they may be facing. For example, homework-related issues might involve learning to use an agenda or study guide; finding a quiet and well-equipped workspace; removing distractions; collaborating with others; or developing more efficient ways of goal-setting and monitoring progress. Kids may also need assistance dealing with instructions, clarifying expectations, or breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable chunks.

WELL-BEING

“You can learn to define your own success, and the path you want to take to get there…. If you’re willing to challenge your understandings of success, and you don’t focus exclusively on big accomplishments, you’ll experience more successes—and greater confidence.” 

(“Bust Your BUTS” – p. 34)

Tip 9.)  Be aware. 

Pay attention to children’s reactions and behaviors (such as acting out, depression, aggression, procrastination, arrogance, or introversion). Parents who are attuned to their children, and aware of what they’re up to—and with whom—are better positioned to help them respond to challenges, and any emotional upheavals.

Tip 10.)  Help kids recognize what underlies their feelings. 

Emotions might include fear, guilt, joy, embarrassment, jealousy, confusion, disgust, grief, hope, frustration… Encourage children to name and acknowledge what they’re feeling in order to gain self-awareness. They may want to choose the time or place. Some children find it difficult to put feelings into words, so be prepared to help them with that. Drawing, journaling, or storytelling can be beneficial for children.

Tip 11.)  Convey pride.

Celebrate the small successes as well as the bigger ones. Show that you believe in children’s ability to succeed. This will help build their self-confidence and optimism, so they’ll feel good about themselves, and be better prepared to tackle life’s ups and downs. 

Tip 12.) As children mature, encourage them to take stock of themselves from time to time, to reflect upon and become accountable for their actions. 

Help kids make time for what really matters. This includes being gracious and increasingly mindful of others, and working hard. Integrity, confidence, forgiveness, and empathy enable kids to become caring and competent adults. Parents can model and share the importance of this—focusing on becoming better, stronger, and kinder people, and empowering children to do likewise.

Tip 13.) Nurture children’s autonomy as they grow, including learning to become active in decision-making, and problem solving. 

Demonstrate ways of coping with changes, risks, and uncertainties because they are inevitable. There’s a lot to be said for persistence, solid work habits, and effort. Help kids learn to become active decision-makers and problem-solvers, and to find supportive others—family members, teachers, friends—in order to work together. Obtain professional advice when it’s required.    

AND, FINALLY…

“Thoughtful and patient direction within the complexity of kids’ lives can make all the difference in whether they’ll make smart decisions about what to do with the 24 hours they have each day. Like the rest of us, they appreciate support, understanding, and encouragement.”

(“Not Now, Maybe Later” – p. 68)

Tip 14.) Give thanks. 

Be grateful for all that we have, all that we can accomplish, and all that our children can accomplish. Continue to foster and fortify their developing plans, capabilities, sensitivities, virtues, aspirations, enthusiasms, and value systems. In the whole scheme of things, these are what really matter.

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