Whitmore Bolles School Social Worker

When fishing for crabs, a fisherman will drop the catch into a shallow basket. The crabs are fully capable of climbing out, but they are unable to escape. Why is this?

As the crabs attempt to climb over the short walls of the basket, other crabs crawl on top of them and they fall back to the bottom. The fight for escape leaves all the crabs trapped. No one wins, except the fisherman of course.

The crab’s behavior exemplifies the lose-lose paradigm. Unfortunately, this behavior is not exclusive to crabs. How often do we compete instead of co-operate or try it on our own rather than seek help from others. Interdependence is the ability to lean on the support of others and giving others someone to lean on in exchange.

Habit # 4 focuses on the success paradigm. The frameworks include, win-win, win-lose, lose-lose, and win-win or no deal. It is normal to wonder if our success hinges on the failure of others. We compete for status, resources, employment, and maybe a few deals during the black Friday sales events.

Choosing win-win is very different than letting everyone else win (lose-win). It is also different than collectively giving up (lose-lose). It does not come with the caveat of an ultimatum (win-win, or else…) Thinking win-win celebrates success. It acknowledges the achievements of others without threatening the success of oneself. The market mindset of the American society encourages us to be competitive thinkers. Additionally, we use competition as a motivational strategy. However, learning to embrace a win-win mindset strengthens the social support needed for everyone to achieve more. The handy TEAM slogan helps children and even adults remember this mindset: Together Everyone Achieves More.

This month I encourage you to reach out and support someone who may need a hand. In return, accept the support of others. This exchange is a win-win and will hopefully free us from feeling like a basket of crabs.

Created by Ally DeMaagd, Social Work Intern

Posted in Blogs