The start of the new year is a great time to help your children focus on forming good habits.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) provides the following list of ideas for you to talk to your children about trying, depending on their age. ​

Preschoolers

• I will try hard to clean up​ my toys by putting them where they belong.
• I will let my parents help me  brush my teeth twice a day.
• I will wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.
• I will learn how to help clear the table when I am done eating.
• I will be friendly to all animals. I will learn how to ask the owners if I can pet their animal first.
• I will do my best to be nice to other kids who need a friend or look sad or lonely.
• I will talk with my parent or a trusted adult when I need help or am scared.

Kids, 5 to 12 years old

• I will drink reduced-fat milk​ and water most days. Soda and fruit drinks are only for special times.
• I will take care of my skin by putting on sunscreen before I go outdoors on bright, sunny days. I will try to remember to stay in the shade whenever possible and wear a hat and sunglasses, especially when I’m playing sports.
• I will try to find a sport (like basketball or soccer) or an activity (like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing or riding my bike) that I like and do it at least three times a week!
• I will always wear a helmet when riding a bike, scooter or skateboard.
• I will wear my seat belt every time I get in a car. I’ll sit in the back seat and use a booster seat until I am tall enough to use a lap/shoulder seat belt.
• I’ll try to be friendly to kids who may have a hard time making friends by asking them to join activities such as sports or games.
• I will tell an adult about bullying that I see or hear about to do what I can to help keep school safe for everyone.
• I will keep my personal info safe and not share my name, home address, school name or telephone number on the Internet. Also, I’ll never send a picture of myself to someone I chat with on the computer without asking my parent if it is okay.
• I will try to talk with my parent or a trusted adult when I have a problem or feel stressed.
• I promise that I’ll do my best to follow our household rules for videogames and internet use.

Kids, 13 years old and older

• I will try to eat two servings of fruit and two servings of vegetables every day. I will drink sodas only at special times.
• I will do my best to take care of my body through fun physical activity and eating the right types and amounts of foods.
• When I have some down time for media, I will try to choose educational, high-quality nonn-violent TV shows and video games that I enjoy. I will spend only one to two hours each day – at the most – on these activities. I promise to respect out household rules for videogames and internet use.
• I will do what I can to help out in my community. I will give some of my time to help others, working with community groups or others that help people in need. These activities will make me feel better about myself and my community.
• When I feel angry or stressed out, I will take a break and find helpful ways to deal with the stress, such as exercising, reading, writing in a journal or talking about my problem with a parent or friend.
• When faced with a difficult decision, I will talk about my choices with an adult whom I can trust.
• When I notice my friends are struggling, being bullied or making risky choices, I will look for a  trusted adultso that we can attempt to find a way to help.
• I will be careful about whom I choose to date. I will treat the other person with respect and not force them to do something they do not want to do. I will not use violence. I will expect to be treated the same way in return.
• I will resist peer pressure to try tobacco-cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol. I will also avoid the use of e-cigarettes.
• I agree not to use a cell phone or text message while driving and to always use a seat belt.

Source American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018)

C.E.R. Stephen Curry

QUESTION: How did Stephen Curry react after receiving Riley’s letter?

After he received Riley’s handwritten letter, Stephen Curry reacted with positive support. In the article, “Stephen Curry’s reply to a young man who wrote to him is a slam dunk”, the author writes, “She was surprised that Curry’s reply was also handwritten” (NEWSELA, 4).  This shows that Curry supported Riley by taking the time out of his busy schedule to write the letter himself.  Also, this shows that Curry cares about his fans (male and female). Furthermore, the text states, “Curry said he wants to make sure she can wear his shoes proudly. He is going to send her a pair of Curry 5 shoes, he said” (NEWSELA, 4). Wearing shoes proudly means that she is happy when she has them on and she is proud of the person they represent.  Stephen Curry was very positive in his reaction to his fans letter.

How to Prepare for Your Child’s Parent-Teacher Conference

Parent-teacher conferences make many parents nervous — еѕресіаllу іf thеir child has behavioral problems or іѕ underperforming. Upon accepting the invitation, as a parent, it may feel as if you’ve received a summons tо account fоr уоur child’s behavior аnd academic results. But keep іn mind thаt thе meeting іѕ оnlу fоr thе betterment оf уоur child’s future.

Parent-teacher conferences are not to be taken lightly as they are an assessment of your child’s development in school. Fоr а successful аnd smooth flowing meeting, thе key lies іn being calm аnd composed.

Parents are typically called to attend a meeting bу thе school professionals. Hоwеvеr, if уоu feel your child’s performance іѕ deteriorating, уоu саn arrange fоr а meeting wіth the teacher(s) long before the parent-teacher conference. Make an appointment for when your schedule allows аnd bе оn time fоr thе meeting.

The following tips will help уоu to prepare for a parent-teacher meeting at your child’s school:

Assess Your Child’s Performance аnd Behavior

Have you paid attention to the papers your child has been bringing home from school? They’re easy to overlook, especially if they’re scrunched up into little balls and stowed away in the pockets of jeans and coats.

Keep track оf уоur child’s academic аnd extracurricular performance іn school. Review hіѕ grades, аnd find thе subjects іn whісh hіѕ achievement іѕ weak оr bеlоw mark. You don’t want to feel caught by surprise if the teacher says, “I’m sure you’ve noticed that Johnny never finishes an assignment.”

It will add to the teacher’s perspective of your child if you describe some of the behaviors you are noting at home. For example, if your child is particularly neat (or messy) about taking care of their room, let the teacher know. It may fit into what he or she is witnessing in the classroom.

Talk tо Your Child

A child’s experiences іn school has аn impact оn hіѕ оr hеr academic performance. A first step is to talk tо уоur child about how shе is getting along wіth her friends аnd teachers at school. Ask her іf shе іѕ facing аnу kind оf problems. If she is, learn whether that is about her grades, extracurricular activities, teacher(s), or friends. Thіѕ wіll help уоu to plan any concerns you would like to discuss during thе parent-teacher conference, as well as ask for help with solutions.

Have a Positive Mindset

Your attitude toward your child’s teacher is likely to be based in part on things your child has told you about him or her. It’s wise to bear in mind the familiar quote from the teacher who said, “If you promise not to believe any of Johnny’s wild stories about what I do at school, I’ll promise not to believe any of his wild stories about what you do at home.” Make up your own mind about this person from what you see and hear.

How you feel about your child’s teacher is going to spill over into the conference. If you still don’t have the “warm fuzzies” towards him/her, it’s best to get your thinking straight before the meeting.

Your child’s teacher is a professional, one who is trained to teach children. As such, he/she deserves your respect. That said, teachers are also human and therefore susceptible to the same human errors and frailties as you.

Although you may feel convinced — and rightly so — that no one knows your child as well as you do, remember that the teacher spends 6-7 hours daily, week in and week out, with your child and knows him pretty well — better than you suspect he/she does.

Teachers would much rather give a positive than a negative report on a student — they really would! The reason for this is obvious — it reflects on their teaching abilities and reinforces feelings of worth and competence.

Accept thе drawbacks оf уоur child wіth а positive frame оf mind, аnd іf уоu have аnу negative feedback, convey іt politely аnd diplomatically.

Your child’s teacher is also sacrificing some of his/her free time to meet with you. (Rare is the conference that takes place during school hours.) Home and family and all that they involve will probably be awaiting his/her attention after the meeting. Therefore, it’s vital that the conference not be unduly prolonged with non-essentials such as descriptions of your other children, your job, etc. Your child’s teacher will genuinely appreciate your honest attempt to respect his/her time and stay on target.

The secret weapon for school success

What research reveals about sleep deprivation and its consequences for academic achievement.

by: GreatSchools Staff | September 30, 2018

 Print article

Is your child having behavior problems and trouble in school? Making sure she gets enough sleep may be the solution.

Lack of sleep is a national epidemic for today’s children, and the consequences are serious.

Sleep deprivation can affect cognitive skills and academic achievement. A continuing lack of sleep is linked to serious health problems including diabetes, obesity, heart disease, depression, and a shortened life span.

Why aren’t kids getting enough sleep?

Children ages 6 to 13 need about 9 to 11 hours of sleep, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Yet studies show that most kids are getting about an hour less sleep each night than they did 30 years ago.

Why? Extracurricular activities, such as sports teams and arts programs, may schedule events at night. Working parents who get home late may feel guilty and want to spend time with their children in the evening. Too much homework and the many distractions of television, video games, and computers all play a role. In addition, all the pressures and stresses of today’s frenetic lifestyles may make it difficult for kids to calm down so they can fall asleep.

Catching up on sleep is not a good option

Parents may think they’ll let their children catch up on sleep on the weekend. But sleep experts at the Mayo Clinic advise against this practice as irregular sleep schedules can affect the biological clock, hurt the quality of sleep and cause greater irritability. Children who sleep in on the weekend may have an even harder time getting up for school on Monday morning, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. It’s better, the experts say, to keep similar schedules during the week and on the weekends.

Make sleep a priority

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, teacher, parent educator, and author of Sleepless in America, says parents can play a key role by placing a high value on their children’s sleep. She says the first step for parents is to “make sleep a priority.”

“Scientific research links heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and obesity with lack of sleep. There’s also a study out of the University of Michigan,” adds Kurcinka, “that shows that 20 to 25 % of kids with ADHD have sleep disorders. Sleep is not a luxury. This is about health and well-being.”

Some parents may think that their child isn’t sleeping much because he just doesn’t need as much sleep as other children. But Kurcinka doesn’t buy that argument. She says, “When I hear a parent say, ‘He is a kid who doesn’t need sleep,’ generally this means he is a kid who can’t sleep. He needs help learning to calm himself to get to sleep. If I see a child who has behavior problems, can’t focus or pay attention, a child who’s getting sick a lot, craving carbohydrates, I’ll want to look at how much sleep he’s getting. Maybe the child is just exhausted.”

Lack of sleep is linked to a multitude of problems

Several studies presented at Sleep 2007, the annual meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies, highlighted some of the adverse effects caused by lack of sleep — aggressive behavior and bullying, poor grades, poor attention span, disruptions in cognitive and linguistic function including the skills necessary for reading and language development. A few scientists theorize that sleep problems at a young age can cause permanent changes in a child’s brain structure.

Lack of sleep may be the cause of behavior problems

Sometimes lack of sleep will be the reason behind temper tantrums, morning meltdowns and irritable behavior. Your child may not be able to tell you that’s the problem and you may not see it because a tired child may become a wired child-full of energy. “It’s as though their body is out of control,” says Kurcinka. “And it is.”

Kurcinka says parents need to set limits on extracurricular activities and computer time, and become advocates at their school for reducing the amount of homework, and encouraging schools to adopt later start times.

More and more children lack sleep — a disturbing trend

Kurcinka argues that lack of sleep among children is more common now than ever before and attributes this trend to three factors: science, safety, and achievement.

“Science — The research on early brain development and the importance of brain stimulation has meant kids are overstimulated starting at a young age. They begin by watching ‘Baby Einstein’ videos and continue from there. Safety-parents are afraid to let kids go out and play so they provide more structured activities which tend to be organized around adult hours and schedules. Achievement-so much is competitive and overly achievement oriented for kids, from soccer to gymnastics to academics.”

To counter these factors, Kurcinka says, parents should “create an environment that values sleep and is conducive to it. The bottom line is that parents of children who are successful have a secret weapon — they protect their kids’ sleep. Kids who get more sleep have higher grade-point averages. In a study reported in the journal, Child Development, in 2003 entitled ‘The Effects of Sleep Restriction and Extension on School-Age Children: What a Difference an Hour Makes,’ Tel Aviv University researcher Avi Sadeh found that even 41 minutes less sleep each night can affect memory and attention.”

Managing sleep patterns begins in the morning

Kurcinka says managing sleep problems and controlling stress levels begins in the morning by making time for a peaceful family breakfast. She sees it as a way to take time to sit and talk, to “check in” and connect with your child. By starting the day without rushing, you set a calm tone for the rest of the day.

Avoiding bedtime battles

To avoid bedtime battles at night, Kurcinka advocates establishing a calming, predictable bedtime routine attuned to your child’s needs that will help her wind down. In her book, Sleepless in America,she compares the process of getting your child to bed to landing a jumbo jet:

“Landing a jumbo jet is not a simple process. Miles from their destination, the pilots begin to prepare. They check the weather, determine which runway to utilize, the level of instrumentation to use on approach as well as the optimal speed. Once those decisions are made, they start to configure the aircraft appropriately…What the crew is trained to know is that conscientious preparation and a gradual descent lead to a soft landing and satisfied customers. When it comes to bedtime, most children are like those jumbo jets. Their days are often spent ‘flying’ from one activity to another, and they need to gradually ‘glide’ from the ‘high’ of their day to a ‘soft landing’ in bed.”

Spending 20 minutes with your child before bedtime in a soothing activity, such as reading, quietly catching up on the day’s activities, or telling stories, can help provide the calm that will help your child transition to going to sleep. Adjusting the routine, depending on your child’s mood and needs, (just as the pilot adjusts the plane’s landing pattern depending on the weather) will help, too. Some days kids just need a little more connection and attention.

Seven ways to be your child’s sleep advocate

• Talk to your child about sleep. Have a conversation with your child about the importance of sleep. “Educate your child about how much sleep he needs and how it will affect his performance,” advises Kurcinka. “If he wants to do well in his soccer game, or on a test, make him aware that he will do better if he gets more sleep.”
• Encourage your child to establish a sleep routine. Encourage your child to stick to a regular sleep schedule. School-age children need an average of 10 to 11 hours of sleep each night. Insist on a regular bedtime and wake-up time. Have a regular quiet, relaxing bedtime routine such as reading to your child or reading together to help him slow down before going to sleep.
• Say no to late-night TV and computer use. Keep the computer and TV out of your child’s bedroom. It’s a good way to monitor his screen activities and make sure he doesn’t stay up past his bedtime. If he insists on watching TV right before bedtime, you can tell him to start getting ready for bed during the commercials and to record “must-see” late-night shows and watch them at another time.
• Check in with your child’s teacher. Ask your child’s teacher if your child is alert or sleepy in class. If he is frequently sleepy in class, that’s a sign that you need to help him get more sleep.
• The pros and cons of naps. A short nap after school (no more than 30 minutes) may be refreshing, but don’t let your school-age child sleep for hours during the day as this will throw off her natural sleep schedule. It may be a stretch to convince your school to provide a time for naps, but it is done in Japan. Schools there encourage “power naps” at lunchtime, when students put their heads down on their desk for 20 to 30 minutes.
• Exercise plays a role in keeping a regular sleep schedule. “Exercise is very important, particularly getting outside and getting morning light,” says Kurcinka. “But exercise raises the body temperature so it is not a good idea to exercise right before going to sleep. That means it’s important to regulate organized soccer and baseball games so they are not scheduled too late into the evening.”
• Be a role model. Show your child that you make sleep a priority in your own life. Children are more likely to follow your advice if you follow the same rules for yourself.

NIH News in Health

A monthly newsletter from the National Institutes of Health, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Positive Parenting

Building Healthy Relationships With Your Kids

Parents have an important job. Raising kids is both rewarding and challenging. You’re likely to get a lot of advice along the way, from doctors, family, friends, and even strangers. But every parent and child is unique. Being sensitive and responsive to your kids can help you build positive, healthy relationships together.

“Being a sensitive parent and responding to your kids cuts across all areas of parenting,” says Arizona State University’s Dr. Keith Crnic, a parent-child relationship expert. “What it means is recognizing what your child needs in the moment and providing that in an effective way.”

This can be especially critical for infants and toddlers, he adds. Strong emotional bonds often develop through sensitive, responsive, and consistent parenting in the first years of life. For instance, holding your baby lovingly and responding to their cries helps build strong bonds.

Building Bonds

Strong emotional bonds help children learn how to manage their own feelings and behaviors and develop self-confidence. They help create a safe base from which they can explore, learn, and relate to others.

Experts call this type of strong connection between children and their caregivers “secure attachment.” Securely attached children are more likely to be able to cope with challenges like poverty, family instability, parental stress, and depression.

A recent analysis shows that about 6 out of 10 children in the U.S. develop secure attachments to their parents. The 4 out of 10 kids who lack such bonds may avoid their parents when they are upset or resist their parents if they cause them more distress. Studies suggest that this can make kids more prone to serious behavior problems. Researchers have been testing programs to help parents develop behaviors that encourage secure attachment.

Being Available

Modern life is full of things that can influence your ability to be sensitive and responsive to your child. These include competing priorities, extra work, lack of sleep, and things like mobile devices. Some experts are concerned about the effects that distracted parenting may have on emotional bonding and children’s language development, social interaction, and safety.

If parents are inconsistently available, kids can get distressed and feel hurt, rejected, or ignored. They may have more emotional outbursts and feel alone. They may even stop trying to compete for their parent’s attention and start to lose emotional connections to their parents.

“There are times when kids really do need your attention and want your recognition,” Crnic explains. Parents need to communicate that their kids are valuable and important, and children need to know that parents care what they’re doing, he says.

It can be tough to respond with sensitivity during tantrums, arguments, or other challenging times with your kids. “If parents respond by being irritable or aggressive themselves, children can mimic that behavior, and a negative cycle then continues to escalate,” explains Dr. Carol Metzler, who studies parenting at the Oregon Research Institute.

According to Crnic, kids start to regulate their own emotions and behavior around age three. Up until then, they depend more on you to help them regulate their emotions, whether to calm them or help get them excited. “They’re watching you to see how you do it and listening to how you talk to them about it,” he explains. “Parents need to be good self-regulators. You’re not only trying to regulate your own emotions in the moment, but helping your child learn to manage their emotions and behavior.”

As kids become better at managing their feelings and behavior, it’s important to help them develop coping skills, like active problem solving. Such skills can help them feel confident in handling what comes their way.

“When parents engage positively with their children, teaching them the behaviors and skills that they need to cope with the world, children learn to follow rules and regulate their own feelings,” Metzler says.

“As parents, we try really hard to protect our kids from the experience of bad things,” Crnic explains. “But if you protect them all the time and they are not in situations where they deal with difficult or adverse circumstances, they aren’t able to develop healthy coping skills.”

He encourages you to allow your kids to have more of those experiences and then help them learn how to solve the problems that emerge. Talk through the situation and their feelings. Then work with them to find solutions to put into practice.

Meeting Needs

As children grow up, it’s important to remember that giving them what they need doesn’t mean giving them everything they want. “These two things are very different,” Crnic explains. “Really hone in on exactly what’s going on with your kid in the moment. This is an incredibly important parenting skill and it’s linked to so many great outcomes for kids.”

Think about where a child is in life and what skills they need to learn at that time. Perhaps they need help managing emotions, learning how to behave in a certain situation, thinking through a new task, or relating to friends.

“You want to help kids become confident,” Crnic says. “You don’t want to aim too high where they can’t get there or too low where they have already mastered the skill.” Another way to boost confidence while strengthening your relationship is to let your kid take the lead.

“Make some time to spend with your child that isn’t highly directive, where your child leads the play,” advises Dr. John Bates, who studies children’s behavior problems at Indiana University Bloomington. “Kids come to expect it and they love it, and it really improves the relationship.”

Bates also encourages parents to focus on their child’s actual needs instead of sticking to any specific parenting principles.

It’s never too late to start building a healthier, more positive relationship with your child, even if things have gotten strained and stressful. “Most importantly, make sure that your child knows that you love them and are on their side,” Metzler says. “For older children, let them know that you are genuinely committed to building a stronger relationship with them and helping them be successful.”

By being a sensitive and responsive parent, you can help set your kids on a positive path, teach them self-control, reduce the likelihood of troublesome behaviors, and build a warm, caring parent-child relationship.

Standardized tests: Standardized tests play a major role in today’s schooling. Your child may take one or more standardized tests each year, and her teacher may devote a significant amount of class time to preparation exercises. Several states administer “high stakes” tests, which can have a significant impact on school assessment and funding, determine your child’s class placement, or even prevent grade promotion. No matter how you feel about this controversial assessment tool, it’s important that your child do her best.

Standardized tests: What do they measure?
The tests provide a yardstick for educators to evaluate the performance of students and schools, measuring it against state and national standards. They generally fall into one of two categories: Achievement tests measure subject-specific knowledge, while Aptitude tests predict your child’s ability to learn by measuring his mastery of school-success skills like reasoning or problem-solving. These tests can provide you and your child’s teacher with insight into his progress, helping you identify areas for improvement. Standardized assessments also help schools and districts decide where they need to focus more attention.

Standardized tests:  What are their limitations?
While testing companies strive to create effective evaluation tools, several factors can affect your child’s performance. The conditions in the testing room, how well the school curriculum fits the material, whether she had a good night’s sleep, and her test-taking ability can all affect her score. As a result, you may see inconsistencies between her grades and test scores. It’s best not to place too much emphasis on a single test result.

Standardized tests: How can you help your child prepare?
Teachers tell us that successful test-takers tend to be students with good attendance, homework, and study habits; therefore, your daily assistance with homework and attitude toward school have the biggest impact on your child’s performance. However, there are key ways you can develop his test-taking ability.

• Optimize brain power.
  Teachers say the students who struggle the most on testing days are the ones who didn’t have enough sleep or a good breakfast the day of the test. Also, students who are physically or mentally unprepared often encounter problems. Make sure she has every tool she needs — pencils, an eraser, paper, a calculator, etc. laid out the night before, as well as any preliminary paperwork filled out, if possible. If she isn’t feeling well on the test day, it’s better to keep her home and let her make up the test later rather than risk poor performance.
• Encourage good study habits and challenge critical-thinking skills.
  Reviewing test-taking strategies is important, but monitoring overall academic progress and staying in good communication with the teacher will help you ward off potential problems. Good reading skills factor heavily in a timed test, so encourage reading (consider magazines, newspapers, or even comic books if he shies away from books) as much as possible. Testing also measures critical-thinking ability, so ask him to discuss ideas or voice his opinion often to stimulate these thought processes.
• Know what to expect.
  Most teachers will send home information about the test schedule and class preparation plans well before the test date. However, if you don’t hear from your child’s teacher, you should contact her to find out:
  • What is the name of the test, and what will it measure?
  • What’s the format? (multiple choice, essay, short answer, etc.)
  • How will the class prepare in school?
  • How is it scored? Will students be penalized for incorrect answers or should they guess randomly when stumped on a question?
  • When will you receive the results?
  • What are the test’s implications? Will it affect your child, school, or both?
  • Are there any specific ways you can help your child prepare?
• Look at your child’s past performance.
  If she scored low in a particular area, you may want to provide her with exercises that reinforce that subject. Aim for activities that simulate the testing experience, such as multiple choice geometry questions or vocabulary practice that asks her to identify antonyms or synonyms. Workbooks geared towards standardized test preparation often provide these kind of exercises. Avoid drilling her in areas where she excels; you run the risk of boring her and her losing patience with testing.
• Provide practice opportunities.
  You may be able to request sample or practice tests from your child’s school or find them at the library. Be sure to time any practice tests (assuming the standardized test will be timed) so he’s not surprised by time constraints on test day. Start practicing several weeks before the date and keep study sessions short. Setting small goals, such as learning five new words each session, will help him measure his progress and boost his confidence. Make sure he takes the night before the test off — cramming can increase his stress level.
• Relax and remain positive.
  The best test-takers are confident, committed, and at ease. Even if you are nervous about her performance, be wary of transferring that concern to your child. You never know, some kids actually enjoy tests! If she is likely to get nervous, practice a few relaxation techniques, such as counting from one to ten or taking deep breaths, which can help her relieve tension during the test.

Standardized tests: How do you interpret the results?
Because assessment varies from test to test, it would be impossible to include all the terms you may encounter here. However, the scores should be accompanied by information to help you interpret them. Don’t hesitate to contact your child’s teacher if you have questions or need help understanding the results. You could also talk to the PTA or school administrator about inviting a testing expert to host an information session for parents.