{"id":1076,"date":"2020-02-03T20:29:54","date_gmt":"2020-02-04T01:29:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/?p=1076"},"modified":"2020-02-03T22:02:08","modified_gmt":"2020-02-04T03:02:08","slug":"the-same-way-i-forgave-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/2020\/02\/03\/the-same-way-i-forgave-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"“The same way I forgave myself”*"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When I was in high school, I took an Oral Interpretations class taught by an esteemed theatre teacher. I had to be sneaky about it – telling my parents that it counted for the Speech requirement – since they were not inclined to indulge me in my desire to take theatre\/drama\/art classes (since those<\/em> kinds of classes would not be helpful for whatever science-based career I would undoubtedly pursue). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember sitting there – surrounded by members of the thespian community – and I felt like an interloper, a wannabe, a fraud… what’s worse, my high school self fully believed that the teacher suspected this “truth” about me also, and nothing anybody could have told me at the time would have convinced me otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I got through the class – relishing in moments where I could shine along the bright stars of our theatre program. I remember crushing my monologue – preparing to enter into a competition. The teacher was both stern and motivating – not that I was receptive – my mind was made up, she thought I didn’t belong there, and I resented her for it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The time came for me to exact my revenge when the end of the semester came along and we were able to evaluate our teachers. I let her have it, both barrels – talked about the blatant favoritism, the ineffective feedback, and the lack of attention to non-theatre students. And then, with a flourish, I signed my name. After all, I said what I said – and I was no coward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That class came and went. I graduated. Time moved forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Flash forward YEARS<\/span><\/strong> later.*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had returned to the high school to support the theatre’s latest production of The Music Man<\/em> . That teacher was still there. I made sure to pass by and laud her work on the musical – not giving that long ago evaluation a second thought. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her eyes shuttered when I approached her. The hug was lukewarm at best. She accepted the accolades graciously, but I could tell her heart wasn’t behind it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That was when she revealed to me that my words, all those years ago, had hurt her. Then, she relayed her<\/em> perception of my time in the class. She complimented my tenacity, my intensity, my astuteness, and shared how she longed for my parents to change their mind so that I could have been a part of the theatre program. My mind was blown. I could not believe how different our impressions of the same reality were. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know if I could have handled things differently when I was in high school. I was a proud, angsty, and headstrong individual. Maybe if the teacher had pulled me aside, I could have apologized then, instead of years later? But that teacher being who she was, wouldn’t have handled things differently either. If I have one regret it is that the words written were intended to hurt – and knowing that they did, does not fill me with any sense of righteousness, but rather a sense of despair. I can belatedly hope that maybe my evaluation influenced her to be more kind to other non-theatre students – but what if it just hardened her heart? I’ll never know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think that’s why – of ALL the things I hope to teach in Language Arts – it’s that WORDS<\/a> are extremely powerful <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Fast forward to today. Maybe it’s poetic justice that I am receiving a taste of my own medicine. I am certainly not everybody’s cup of tea – nor is it my goal to be. I am not here to make friends – I just want to help each student become the best version of themselves. To help students learn valuable lessons and to move forward with grace. Will I reach every student? It’s not likely – but that won’t stop me from trying. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

*blog title is a line from the monologue I performed in high school, from a play by Craig Lucas entitled “Credo” from a collection of plays edited by Eric Lane and Nina Shengold, entitled “Plays for Actresses” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was in high school, I took an Oral Interpretations class taught by an esteemed theatre teacher. I had to be sneaky about it…<\/p>\n

Continue reading“The same way I forgave myself”*<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1798,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1798"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1076"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1076\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1084,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1076\/revisions\/1084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/sabbaghela\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}