{"id":166,"date":"2020-03-02T10:11:53","date_gmt":"2020-03-02T15:11:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/?p=166"},"modified":"2020-03-02T10:11:54","modified_gmt":"2020-03-02T15:11:54","slug":"4-parts-of-a-conversation-how-to-help-kids-with-social-skills-issues-navigate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/2020\/03\/02\/4-parts-of-a-conversation-how-to-help-kids-with-social-skills-issues-navigate\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Parts of a Conversation: How to Help Kids With Social Skills Issues Navigate"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>By Amanda Morin<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/images.ctfassets.net\/p0qf7j048i0q\/92062820157D46179326BFBC8B4D9A55\/56534a99d3e053ef49a3183264664f86\/i498905197.jpg?w=1000&amp;h=750&amp;fit=fill&amp;fm=webp\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"ataglanceheader\">At a Glance<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Navigating a conversation can be difficult for kids with social skills issues.<\/li><li>Different skills are required for various parts of a conversation.<\/li><li>You can help your child get better at joining, starting, maintaining and ending conversations.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>For most people, having a conversation is easy. We don\u2019t think about having to make appropriate comments or how to join in when other people are talking. But for&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/learning-attention-issues\/child-learning-disabilities\/social-skills-issues\/understanding-childs-trouble-with-social-skills\">kids with social skills issues<\/a>, the normal flow of conversation can be hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Important skills, like&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/picking-up-on-social-cues\/at-a-glance-helping-your-child-understand-body-language\">reading body language<\/a>&nbsp;and knowing what to say (and when to say it), don\u2019t come easily to them. Here\u2019s a look at the four parts of a conversation, the skills involved, and how to help your child navigate each one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Joining a Conversation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Group conversations are tricky because there\u2019s more than one person to connect with. Each person has a unique personality and communication style. The group itself has a unique way of functioning, based on who\u2019s in it and what\u2019s being discussed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Skills involved:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Reading the body language of the group to know if it\u2019s appropriate to join in.<\/li><li>Using the right phrases to ask to be included.<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/picking-up-on-social-cues\/at-a-glance-helping-your-child-notice-voice-pitch-and-tone\">Understanding the tone of voice<\/a>&nbsp;people use when they aren\u2019t OK with you joining.<\/li><li>Knowing what\u2019s being discussed, and staying on topic.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Why it might be hard:<\/strong>&nbsp;Trouble reading body language can keep kids from knowing if a conversation is private or open. They may also misunderstand the rhythm of the conversation. Is the pause in talking a natural lull? Or is someone just taking time to breathe? And some kids don\u2019t get that they need to talk about the topic at hand to join a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How to help:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Use videos,&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/picking-up-on-social-cues\/video-watching-tv-to-improve-social-skills\">TV shows<\/a>&nbsp;or real-life events to point out situations where a group is turned away or talking privately. Also, point out when people in a conversation are looking around and seem open to others joining.<\/li><li>Model for your child how to wait for a break in the flow of conversation and&nbsp;<em>then<\/em>&nbsp;ask a question, like \u201cIs it OK if I join you?\u201d<\/li><li>Remind your child to listen and say something related to what others are saying. Your child can use \u201cwh\u201d questions (who, what, when, where and why) to get up to speed.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Starting a Conversation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Launching a conversation involves a number of steps. To be successful at it, you have to do them all correctly. The first step is often the hardest: figuring out if this is the right time to&nbsp;<em>have&nbsp;<\/em>a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Skills involved:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Knowing to start with a greeting, and having the language to do that.<\/li><li>Recognizing if it\u2019s an appropriate time to have a conversation.<\/li><li>Choosing an appropriate topic and having phrases to open the dialogue.<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/picking-up-on-social-cues\/helping-your-child-with-social-cues\">Recognizing nonverbal cues<\/a>&nbsp;that show if the other person is interested and wants to talk.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Why it might be hard:<\/strong>&nbsp;Kids who are impulsive may burst into a conversation without any greeting. They may act like the other person already knows what they\u2019re thinking. Some kids may not be able to read the \u201cfeel\u201d of a room to know if it\u2019s a good time to start a conversation. And once they start, they may not pick up on signs that the person isn\u2019t interested in talking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How to help:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Teach basic greeting phrases to use with familiar people (\u201cHi, how are you?\u201d) and with unfamiliar people (\u201cHi, I\u2019m Joe\u2014I\u2019m Miranda\u2019s neighbor\u201d).<\/li><li>Show your child what someone\u2019s body language looks like when the person does and doesn\u2019t want to talk. Also show examples of a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/picking-up-on-social-cues\/helping-your-child-learn-to-read-facial-expressions\">neutral or uncomfortable face<\/a>&nbsp;that might mean a lack of interest.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Maintaining a Conversation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The work doesn\u2019t stop once kids with social skills challenges enter a conversation. Continuing the conversation can be difficult, too. It requires following a number of&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/following-social-rules\/5-unwritten-social-rules\">social rules<\/a>\u2014and not just for a minute or two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Skills involved:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Knowing how to take turns in a conversation.<\/li><li>Listening to what the other person says and responding appropriately.<\/li><li>Being able to stay on topic.<\/li><li>Reading body language, facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Why it can be hard:<\/strong>&nbsp;Impulsivity may cause kids to&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/learning-attention-issues\/child-learning-disabilities\/nonverbal-learning-disabilities\/why-is-my-child-always-interrupting-people\">blurt something out or interrupt<\/a>&nbsp;when they\u2019re excited about a topic. Trouble with nonverbal cues may keep them from realizing that the other person is trying to speak or is losing interest. Kids also might be&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/self-control\/perseveration-adhd-and-learning-issues\">so stuck on one thought<\/a>&nbsp;that they can\u2019t let go of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How to help:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Teach your child how to ask follow-up questions to show he\u2019s heard and is interested in what the other person is saying. Give him scripted examples to practice and use.<\/li><li>Help your child practice keeping a thought in mind instead of blurting it out. Let him know it\u2019s OK to say, \u201cRemind me that I wanted to say something about that once you\u2019re done,\u201d if he\u2019s worried he\u2019ll forget his point.<\/li><li>Brainstorm words or phrases he can use to show he\u2019s paying attention during conversation, like \u201cright\u201d or \u201cthat\u2019s cool.\u201d Make sure he knows he needs to mix them up a little because saying the same thing over and over can sound like he\u2019s not paying attention.<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/friends-feelings\/common-challenges\/following-social-rules\/social-situations-to-role-play-with-your-child-in-different-grades\">Role-play<\/a>&nbsp;and demonstrate how saying something off-topic or at the wrong time can sound like he\u2019s not interested in what someone else is talking about.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Ending a Conversation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Ending a conversation can be as challenging as starting one. You have to read the situation correctly to know if it\u2019s the right time to wrap it up. And then, you have to have the words to end it appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Skills involved:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Reading body language, facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.<\/li><li>Making sense of tone of voice and other verbal cues.<\/li><li>Being aware of how your own verbal and nonverbal cues may look to others (perspective-taking).<\/li><li>Conveying intent through language. (For example, \u201cWell, I have to go now.\u201d)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Why it can be challenging:<\/strong>&nbsp;Since many kids with social skills issues have trouble reading body language, they may not recognize that a person is no longer interested or needs to end a conversation. Kids who are impulsive or who&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/learning-attention-issues\/child-learning-disabilities\/communication-disorders\/at-a-glance-how-communication-issues-affect-socializing\">struggle with communication skills<\/a>&nbsp;may also end a conversation abruptly without saying \u201cgoodbye,\u201d just walking away or hanging up the phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How to help:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Demonstrate some of the nonverbal cues your child may see when someone is trying to end a conversation, like checking the time, turning away or yawning.<\/li><li>Teach your child some of the verbal cues that show someone is trying to end a conversation, such as not answering questions, saying they should go or saying things like \u201cSo\u2026\u201d or \u201cWell\u2026.\u201d<\/li><li>Explain that your child can use these cues to end a conversation, too.<\/li><li>Teach phrases your child can use to know if the conversation is over. One example is: \u201cAre you OK to keep talking, or do you need to leave?\u201d<\/li><li>Help your child learn and practice how to close with a sentence like \u201cIt was good talking to you,\u201d or \u201cWell, I have to get going now,\u201d before walking away.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>For kids with social skills issues, learning the art of conversation takes lots of direct instruction and practice. So it\u2019s important to be patient, and know that you may have to reinforce these skills over and over.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Amanda Morin At a Glance Navigating a conversation can be difficult for kids with social skills issues. Different skills are required for various parts of a conversation. You can help your child get better at joining, starting, maintaining and ending conversations. For most people, having a conversation is easy. We don\u2019t think about having <a href=\"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/2020\/03\/02\/4-parts-of-a-conversation-how-to-help-kids-with-social-skills-issues-navigate\/\">Continue reading &#8594;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":872,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/872"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":167,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions\/167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iblog.dearbornschools.org\/charafeddine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}